Thank you for all the words of encouragement. As you all know this is not a new trial for me and is not likely to be over any time soon. Many of you have said you don't understand my particular situation but we've all had similar challenges. I appreciate your experience, your prayers and your love. I'm tremendously blessed to have such a loving and supportive family. I miss you all.
Lest you think my life is all challenges and disappointments I thought I'd give you an update on clinical. I DON'T HAVE CRAZY INTENSE NURSING INSTRUCTOR HOVERING OVER ME AND STRESSING ME OUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER!!!!!! Wow, that felt good. My clinical group is divided into 2 groups. The first part of the semester I had crazy lady and now I have, worst lecturer in the program but really good clinical instructor. I just took a deep breath. I was assigned to a new grad nurse on Monday (Nazi Instructor flipped out) so I had to get a new patient today - Mellow Instructor didn't make me complete a new write-up. YEA! Somehow I managed to do one anyway - just because I wanted to figure out what was wrong with him but I did it at the hospital not at home. In addition, she doesn't hover (I think I may have mentioned that) and she gives positive feedback. Actually, while observing my assessment she counted respirations for me. I wouldn't have known except I told her I'd have to go back and get them as the patient wouldn't stop talking and I wasn't able to count. She told me not to worry - she counted for me! Besides clinical instructor greatness, the unit I'm in is way more mellow. Not less intense but less chaotic. It makes a huge difference. It's a much smaller unit and the nurses interact with each other more. It just feels like a better environment to me. If I were a patient - it's where I would want to be. I don't think I want to do med-surg but if I do, I want to be on that unit.
So I completed my assignment that's due tomorrow and I'm going to watch Bones and House and eat pinenuts. Not a bad day. Not bad at all.
I've been in Tucson now for about 5 months and have found some friends and even a boy to like. About a week ago I realized that my friends and I are just friends (again) and that I needed to find some people closer to my age and experience. So tonight I went to an FHE group for 30-45 year olds. The guys that were there were all well over 40 and no more socially developed than they were as awkward 20 somethings. Not to say they weren't nice but no real hope either. Now I know I came to Tucson to go to nursing school but I did hope that I would find a social group and, more importantly, someone to date and marry. My hopes are pretty shattered right now. It took about all my fortitude to not stop by Scott's on the way home to plead for a chance. I'm still waiting for him to call. He went from calling 4-5 times/week to 8 days with no calls. Not much hope there either. Sorry to be such a downer but since the only people who read this are those who know and love me - I thought I could be honest about what's really going on in my life.
P.S. I did see Scott at the Halloween Party and was optimistic but since he hasn't called since - well, I'm 30 and not married - so not so optimistic.
Is anyone else unable to upload photos? I've been trying for a couple days now and it keeps giving me error messages.
To answer Ashley's question from ages ago... An Eegee is like a Slurpy but more icey and way yummier. I was going to take a picture of one but somehow I eat the whole thing before I get my camera out.
The past weeks have been crazy with clinicals. Turns out, I get attached to my patients. It's been pretty hard on me. My last patient was really miserable and there just wasn't much we could do for her. She kept telling me she wanted to die. Do you know how painful it is when you are doing everything you can to help someone and they want to die but it's just not their time yet? It's heartbreaking.
School has been really hard this semester and I've been seriously wondering why I'm doing this to myself. I keep plugging away at it and slowly it's getting done but the joy of it all has definitely been lost. The problem is we can't have an experience without having a huge assignment attached to it. For example, I was in GYN surgery this week - pretty cool - now I have to write a paper about it. I suppose that's what school is all about.
On the other hand, I've been really enjoying my friendship with the guys and Jaime (that's actually how she spells her name). We've done some pretty fun things lately but for some reason blogger won't let me up-load pictures right now so you'll have to check back for the details...
