One more thing...

I got a new, pocket-size digital camera for Christmas. I'm so excited to have a small camera. I absolutely love my 35mm camera but it's big and heavy and sometimes I don't want to deal with it - beside the fact that I can't afford to develop my photos. And don't ask about the digital SLR - not a fan - I think I'm going to sell it. So now I have a normal person camera (except it's a sweet 8 megapixals so maybe I won't be able to see the graininess) in addition to my fabulous film camera. I'm so excited. Oh, I don't have it yet - I'll post pictures as soon as I get it.

Anatomy

I just got my anatomy grade - I did end up with an A. Now before you roll your eyes, I had great grades all through the semester and then the final rolls around and I just barely miss the minimum score needed to keep my A. I've been panicking since I got the results. Turns out, with the curve and my lab grade I made it - but just barely. I think I'll actually sleep tonight.

My 1st Christmas Letter

I always that it would be odd to send out a Christmas letter before I was married but since that’s not going to happen anytime soon and I had an eventful year I thought I’d send one out. So here is my post-Christmas, year-end commentary on my life.

And since I’m a better list writer than essayist…

January - May: I went back to school to pursue my nursing degree. I know, it’s about time. Turns out I’m brilliant at the community college level. I finally began to understand chemistry and managed to trick my stats teacher into thinking I got statistics. During my first semester back I continued working full-time (mostly) at Davey Tree. Sadly, due to my crazy schedule of work and school, I had very little time for my social life. So, sorry no adventures to report.

March: Kelli (Steve’s wife) announced she was pregnant! Yippee! My first niece was on her way.

May: I was planning on taking pathophysiology on-line over the summer. Don’t worry, I recognized the error of my ways and dropped the class. That decision left the summer free and clear for some fun.

July: Karen Cromar, my best friend from college came out for a visit. We drove down to Disneyland with some friends and met up with our other, very pregnant, best friend from college, Bree. Of course I couldn’t have a trip without some adventure – this one, Disneyland at 105°F. We managed to have fun regardless of the heat and, on the up-side, the lines were shorter.

Shortly after Karen left, Tim Jorgensen (and roommate) and Ryan Kump came out for the Laguna Seca motorcycle races. 110° in Monterey. Seriously! It was my first real ride on a motorcycle and for an adrenaline junkie like me – it was a-maz-ing!

The most exciting event of July was Ashley’s (Richard’s wife) announcement that she was pregnant with their second baby. My second niece is due March 2007!

August: I tried to spend some time with my family, a bit of time at the river, reading and trying to relax as much as possible before taking on the most challenging academic semester of my life. The end of August brought the end of my time at Davey Tree. I was sad to leave my co-workers but excited about my next adventure.

September – December: I spent almost every hour studying, thinking about studying or dreaming about studying. I finally took pathophysiology (the class that has scared the beegeebees out of me for the past 10 years) and managed a strong A. I figure if I can do that while taking organic/biological chemistry and anatomy, I can handle nursing school.
I really enjoyed my anatomy class and was able to assist in dissecting our cadavers. Now I know many of you will think that’s gross but it was a truly exciting thing for me. They don’t usually let beginning anatomists dissect. So cool!

October: For my one and only break I went up to Paradise with some friends to watch General Conference. It was a relaxing and revitalizing weekend and I loved every moment. We played sardines which found me, a claustrophobe, hiding with 5+ people in a cupboard under the stairs. I think I did okay; it was just a mild panic attack. In addition to sardines, we played wall ball, truth or dare, on the swings, went for a walk and slept (but only for a few hours). Oh, and we did watch General Conference.

November: Crissie (Dave’s wife), after months of being pestered and questioned, announced that she actually is pregnant and is due in July. I’m so excited!

December: I studied, crammed, panicked and completed my finals. In a matter of two weeks I took four exams (3 of which were not cumulative – harder than cumulative in my opinion), wrote a paper, finished my Christmas shopping, had my family Christmas (Rich, Dave & families went to in-laws for Christmas), and Kelli had her baby – Rebecca Joy. It took me a few days and a brainless novel to unwind.

So what’s next? It’s time to go out and get a job, finish my applications, and spend time with my family and friends. This past year I have been so blessed and have felt the guiding hand of the Lord in my life. I am grateful to have such a loving and supportive family and that I’ve had the past couple of years to live close to them. I am looking forward to going to nursing school and helping improve the health and lives of those in my community. I am grateful for all my friends and miss those that aren’t close. I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and have a wonderful New Year!

Julie Palmer
December 28, 2006

Rebecca Joy

My first niece was born last night at 11:03. She's a beautiful girl.

I GOT AN A IN PATHO!!!!!! And a 95% on the final! If you had told me this would happen back in September I doubt I would have believed you. This could possibly be one of my greatest accomplishments thus far. Seriously, life is good.

Stupid Question.

We were talking about seizures in patho today when a student raised her hand and asked, and I'm not kidding here, "Can you have a seizure if you've never had one before?" Seriously? Seriously?! With that logic there'd be no such thing as seizures! What made her question even more amazing was that she was SINCERE! She didn't misphrase her question - she really wanted to know if you could have a seizure if you've never had one before! And this girl is in a nursing program. Scary. My friend and I about died laughing. But, just in case you were worried, my friend assures me I will never have alzheimers because, obviously, I've never had it before.

Get to know you mail...

I got this and thought I'd waste some time filling it out.

Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
"Viewed in sections, the human body is not a solid object, and many vital organs are suspended in internal chambers called body cavities."

If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?
A coat rack.

What’s the last program you watched on TV?
Desperate Housewives and I was kind of watching Law and Order while fixing my anatomy book.

Without looking, guess what time it is.
8:40pm (8:41 - but that's hardly fair as I just looked 5 minutes ago)

Aside from the computer, what can you hear right now?
Commercials

What are you wearing?
My sweats.

Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
I didn't dream last night.

When was the last time you laughed?
This morning on my way to school. I carpool with a very funny girl. That's a good thing.

What’s on the walls, in the room you’re in right now?
Framed US & CA state flags. A sketch by James Christensen. A Renoir print. Photo of Alice Palmer's family quilt.

Have you seen anything strange lately?
A sign I saw last week made me giggle. "Your on video."


What’s the last film you saw? I saw The Prestige with Ashley a couple weeks ago. I loved it! Does it get better than Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman?

If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
Pay off my debt. Pay cash for the rest of my education. Buy a place to live and a new car. Take some vacations. Then save the rest.

Tell us something about yourself that most people don’t know.
I got puked on at the hospital on Saturday night. Rite of passage I guess.

If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt, what would it be?
I would teach people about the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Do you like dancing? Absolutely.

George Bush? Good man.

What do you want your children’s names to be, girl/boy?
I'm not telling. Every time I say I like a new a few years later it tops the list of popular names.

Would you ever consider living abroad?
It's a goal in life.

What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?
"Well done."

Who should do this meme?
Anyone. And let me know if you do!

Patho

I can't hardly believe it! I got a 93% on my patho exam. I have been afraid of patho since I first heard what it was. It was at the top of my list for reasons I thought I'd never become a nurse. And I got a 93%. I could actually get an A in this class. Maybe I'm smarter than I thought.

Christmas List

I want a pillow for Christmas. My very own, never before used pillow. I know it's lame but that's what I want. That and a new bag and movie tickets (at $10.50 each my student loan budget doesn't make it) and shoes and hmmm, that's it. But mainly I want a new pillow.

2 days in a row!

I guess my boredom is starting to show. 2 blog days in a row! I couldn't come up with any kind of list for "why SLC is better than CA" so instead is my Top 10 Reasons for each school (btw price is not a factor as they are all similar)...

U of U (Ryan's Choice)
1. Ryan will stop bugging me about moving back to UT.
2. I'll be done and able to work in 16 months.
3. I'd get to hang with my old SLC friends again - except most of them are now married or close to it.
4. I'd get to horrify people by saying I went to BYU and the U of U.
5. They work with amazing hospitals.
6. It's the cheapest city to fly home from.
7. I may be able to fit in a road trip or 2...
8. Neilson's Custard - the only thing that might put SLC slightly above CA.
9. I can rockclimb and hike - okay my hiking is more like strolling but at least I can stroll in the mountains.
10. Tim might let me shoot his guns when I'm frustrated with my school work!

SUU
1. Cedar City has always felt like home to me.
2. I could actually imagine staying there after graduation.
3. I get 2 years to learn this material.
4. I get a summer break to relax and earn some money.
5. I'd get to meet all new people.
6. I'd be close to the cabin in Hatch.
7. I'd be close to my favorite national parks.
8. LESS PRESSURE!
9. Maybe my family would come visit.
10. Did I mention national parks?

U of A
1. They will pay my tuition, books and fees.
2. I have a job right out of school.
3. It looks like a pretty place in pictures.
4. I'd be done in 14 months.
5. I'd get to meet all new people.
6. I might not be allergic to everything that blooms (I am in UT).
7. It's not as hot as Mesa.
8. They have an international airport.
9. I've never lived anywhere other than CA and UT and I don't know anyone there so ADVENTURE!!!
10. I've really liked all the people I've talked to at the school.

So obviously there are good reasons to go to each school. For now, I just need to get into one of them. So back to the eletrolytes.

The Process

I know I always say it but I really should be studying right now. I'm in the room, I have the stuff but I'm just not interested. This has become a problem lately. I would rather stare at the wall than memorize one more thing. You see, memorizing is a painful process for me. Okay, not really but I'm bored so bear with me. First I have to learn whatever it is I'm supposed to know. That's usually not so bad. I read the assignment, look up stuff I don't know, review my notes, modify my notes. I actually kind of enjoy that process. However, I can't just understand this stuff - I have to know this stuff. Which means memorizing. I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time getting excited about memorizing the difference between the action of magnesium and the action of phosphate in the body (not that it's not incredibly important). I mean this stuff is so facinating my teacher didn't even want to lecture on it - she skipped it and said to look it up ourselves! Anyway, so memorizing. I pace and mumble so obviously I can't do this in public. I can't just read over the material time and time again - my mind wanders - and I can't just sit there - I get jittery - so I pace and mumble. "Phosphate - Function: blah, blah, blah. Opps - forgot blah. Function: blah, blah, blah, blah. Deficit: blah, blah... Signs and Symptoms: blah, blah - oh wait, that was calcium... phosphate... You get the picture. Not hard, just tedious. It's the best way I've come up with so far but if anyone has ANY suggestions I'm definately open.

And Ryan - I thought of writing a Top 10 List of reasons SLC is better than CA but just couldn't come up with anything. The problem is, anything great about SLC (except my friends) gets trumped by my 3 nephews and the 2 nieces on the way. Sorry. It hardly matters as I'll likely be back in your state soon enough. Your odds are 2 out of 3 that I'll be in UT and 1 out 3 that I'll be in SLC. About the same as me actually getting into a program. Which reminds me, I need to get back to - I mean start memorizing. The wonderful world of electrolytes awaits.

One more thing

Nate asked for up-dates on my adventures. I haven't really had many adventures lately as my life consists solely of going to school and studying but a couple weekends ago I did run away to a friend's house in Paradise. It was lovely but the highlight was playing sardines in the house. This house was: a) large b) has lots of nooks and crannies and c) extremely dark - like can't see your hand in front of your face - dark. So my friend and I were first to hide and while trying to figure out where we were going she fell down and I tripped over her, also falling to the ground. Mind you we were laughing hysterically, blind and not being very secretive as to our location. We finally decided to hide in the cupboard under the stairs. It took a while to be found, which was good - once found the light was turned on and I realized what a tiny, totally enclosed space I was in and started feeling, you could say, a bit nervous. We had to wait a while for everyone to find us so I practiced my breathing. I'm a good breather. The whole weekend was delightful and I thoroughly enjoyed getting out and playing with my friends. Of course it wouldn't be a Julie adventure without getting lost - we took a small detour on the way there - and a few minor mishaps - when I woke up on Sunday my foot was swollen and beginning to bruise from tripping over my friend. These things make my life entertaining and really, my toes aren't broken. I promise.

Long Time...again

I'm a horrible blogger. And I really shouldn't be blogging right now as time is running out. Two weeks ago I realized I was not prepared for my up-coming exam and have been studying like mad. So last week I took my o. chem test - no results yet and this week I have my anatomy lecture and lab exams AND my first patho test. I am scared senseless. I have been, seriously, studying and/or in class approx. 8-10 hours everyday - except this Sunday - for several weeks now and I still feel like I have no clue. Not really "no clue" just no clue on the new stuff. And to make matters worse I'm so burned out and bored of studying I can hardly concentrate. I've got to figure out how to be more effective with my studying so this doesn't happen again. Or maybe I should just never take classes like this all at the same time again. On the flip side - all the stress is helping with my weight loss and the lack of social life is a great benefit to my bank account. Ahh, aren't I lucky.

In completely random other news: my sister-in-law Ash is having a baby girl! So fabulous!!!! So Kelli will have a girl in December followed by another girl in March! Boys: 7 Girls: 7 for the very first time! And James is now saying "dynamite" like the kid on The Jeffersons and "incredible". It's absolutely hysterical. He's whole -2 year old- body gets so excited and his voice gets so high and squeaky with excitement it seems he might explode. Especially since we keep making him say it over and over. I'm not sure who will explode first - him or us (from laughing so hard). I so wish I could video him and post it for every one to see what an adorable kid he is.

Okay, that's enough stalling. I must get back to work...

My first cut

I got to dissect a cadaver Tuesday night. It may have been the single coolest thing I've ever done. I dissected out the upper arm on one and the gracilis on the other. Amazing. There are no words to describe how cool it was.

Lost

No, not the show. Me. I spent over an hour being lost yesterday - in commute traffic. You'd think I could follow simple directions but when those directions are cut off on one side and there's a detour and you can't make any U turns, it becomes a lot harder. Let's just say I know the Hayward streets better than I'd like to now. Good thing I had a new CD to listen to. I'm sure all the other commute traffickers thought I was pretty funny - dancing and cursing - dancing and cursing. It's a really fun CD.

We were introduced to our cadavers yesterday. You have to just love all the freaking out that goes on. "They stink" "Is this smell going to ruin my clothes" "Do I have to touch it?" "Don't leave me alone in here!!" "Gross". And these people want to be nurses?? One of our cadavers hasn't been dissected yet so my prof. asked it we wanted to - I am so going to love this!

By the way, I did manage to get to class on time (barely) despite my lostness and I did get a 95% on my first anatomy lab test. I am the WOMAN!!!!!

"Follow the River"

I read "Follow the River" for my book group this month. I'm going to spoil it so if you hate that, this is your warning.

It's a true story of a woman whose settlement was attacked by the Shawnee tribe. She was taken captive with her 2 sons (ages 2 and 4) and her sister-in-law. She was pregnant at the time. She gave birth to a daughter on the way to the Shawnee village, approximately 500 miles up the Ohio River. The entire trip she makes mental notes on how to return and determines to escape. After reaching the village she manages to escape, leaving her sister-in-law and children. She tells herself she's returning to her husband and will start over, have more children, rebuild, etc. She does make it back to her husband and many years later her sister-in-law and oldest son are found and ransomed. There is no information on the daughter and her youngest son died shortly after she left.

When I started reading this I thought, wow, what determination. She endured unimaginable physical and emotional trauma and not only survived but walked 1000 miles (roundtrip) of uncharted, uninhabited back to her husband. It's an amazing feat and shows tremendous courage and tenacity. Or does it? She abandoned her children and sister-in-law to a group that had, just weeks previously, massacred her mother, neighbors and infant nephew. At that terrible time of trauma her thought was not of how to protect her children and help them survive the ordeal but how to return. She was right, they would not have survived the journey back. In my estimation, that means she should have stayed. I think what she did was cowardly. Instead of protecting her children she wanted her husband and life back. How selfish. I can't imagine as a mother leaving my children to be raised by a group that had shown such barbarism so I could go to my husband. The thought makes me cringe. I don't want to take away from the indomitable spirit that she had, I just would have respected and admired her more if she had used that spirit to protect her children. I'd be interested to know what others think about it.

Update

I finished my first round of tests yesterday. No news yet on the last two. I felt really good about my chem test until the prof. said the average score was 68%. I really hope that does not apply to me.

Last night I stopped to get gas and ran into a friend from grade school. I know I haven't seen her since graduation and I honestly don't remember seeing her much after sophmore year. It was so good to see her. There's something comforting about people who knew you as a child. We're getting together next week and I can't wait.

1 Down

1 down and 2 more to go, then I'll be done with my first round of tests. I was most worried (a lovely trait inherited from my mother - don't worry, she freely admits it) about my anatomy theory test. Truth is, I've never received above a C in anatomy. Amazing, I know, but true. And on Thursday I took my first quiz and got a 70%. Hence the tremendous amounts of fear. I even looked in the newspaper classifieds. I have so much faith. So last night I received my first A on an anatomy exam. 94% and I would have done better had I not over thought 3 of the 4 I got wrong. Note to self: he doesn't do trick questions. I just may pull this off after all. Hee Hee.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow night is my first test of the semester. Anatomy. I should be nervous but I'm very close to just wanting it to be over. I just hope I've studied enough and I can keep my nerves under control enough to think.

I should be studying. I should have been studying for the last three hours. Okay, maybe only two and a half but, regardless, I should be studying. Last May my brother DJ went into the ER with abdominal pain. Turned into a 4 day stay for a ruptured colon caused by diverticulitis. While reviewing the CT scan they found a mass on his kidney. Yesterday they removed the mass. I haven't felt particularly worried, all the information led us to believe he would be fine, but when I talked to my mom today and she said he is awake, not in pain and the surgery was successful I cried. Guess I was worried. I just feel tired now. Like a big weight has been lifted but I'm tired from carrying it for so long. I can't express how grateful I am that he's fine.

Busy Week

Last week was a bit hectic. I'm struggling to write about it in essay form so here's a brief overview.

* = a good thing. The more stars, the better the thing
- = not such a good thing.

***Got my hair cut off. I've been growing it out for almost a year and couldn't stand it any longer. My stylist let out a sigh of relief. She just humors me whenever I say I want to grow my hair out. One of these days I'll tell her, "Let it grow" and she'll cut it anyway. She's always right.

***I bought my very own and very first laptop (my first computer purchase). It's a Toshiba with a DVD/CD player/burner, Centrino, Microsoft Office, Spyware... It's fast and has lots of memory and a pretty screen. I'm happy.

*************I started school!!!!! I love going to school. I love beautiful books and good lectures. I love hearing something new and having it spark a question, that sparks another question....

****My nephew Crewe is having his birthday party today!

-I'm not particularly good at finding cells under a microscope.

*At least I ask good questions when I finally see something under said microscope.

------My bum wasn't designed to sit on a bar stool for 4 hours.

-My organic chemistry teacher took 3 hours to explain safety in the lab. I may start wearing safety goggles at all times. Not the best fashion statement but when I inevitably fall down, blow up, break something or poison myself my eyes will be protected.

-----My nephews came over while I was at work and I wasn't able to come home to see them. Two days later I said I was going to come over and didn't. Three days after that I said I was coming over and was 2 hours later than planned. Favorite Aunt status may be in jeopardy.

****Did I say I love my hair and new laptop?

**I told my employer next week will likely be my last.

--I drove to and from Hayward twice/day last week. I seriously hope gas prices plummet. In the meantime, thank heavens for Costco gas.

Like I said, a bit crazy but mostly good. I'll try and post more of my daily observations in the future. New laptop will come in handy for that.

First day of school

Today is my first day back to school. I would say my campus is pretty diverse except, so far, I'm the only naturally blonde, blue eyed person I've seen. Weird. Also weird, especially after graduating from BYU, I'm sitting behind a guy in the computer lab who is looking a porn on the internet. Creepy. And the guy next to me smells like he hasn't met soap in months. I think I'm going to go find a nice private cubicle, with no porn, and read my chemistry book.

Staying Dry

Last night I gave my nephews J1 & J2 a bath. Those two came splashing. I don't think I've ever given them a bath without finishing as wet as they. So last night I finally realized if I wrap the shower curtain over me I can stay relatively dry. I'm sure I looked ridiculous but hey, when it was over, only the bottoms of my pants were wet. Not bad.

My apologies

I'm sorry I haven't written much lately I'm going through a fairly uneventful time right now. Mostly just waiting for school to start and for my life to get busy again. I just finished reading "The Devil Wears Prada" which was good but not as great as the hype. I bought my first PDA last week and I'm totally obsessed with it. Every few minutes I think of something I must enter. The purpose of buying it was to download the millions of flashcards I will inevitably make this semester. Last night I downloaded some that I made a few months ago and realized what a complete nerd I really am. Who knew studying flashcards could be so fun! Sad I know. So that's about it. No epiphanies, no wild adventures, no "You'll never believe what happened to me" stories for now. Don't worry though, I'm sure some are just on the horizon.

Not going to miss this...

Today I spent 30 minutes crafting the perfect email and just as I was about to send it our system kicked me off. I should have been prepared as this happens multiple times every day but today my cry of annoyance was a smidge louder than usual. I'm going to miss the people here but I can't think of a single task or element of my job that I'm going to miss. Thankfully they hired someone today. Hallelujah!

So while looking for a book on a totally unrelated topic I found one titled, "How to Get Organized without Resorting to Arson: A Step-by-Step Guide to Clearing Your Desk without Panic or the Use of Open Flame". I think we need to obtain a copy of that book for everyone on our administrative staff. If I had any money I would give it as a parting gift.

Only 6 more days until school starts....

I moved...

I have officially moved my blog to blogger. In case you've missed anything, I brought over all my posts from the other site so it's all here, you haven't missed a thing. Since it's super easy to leave comments on blogger I fully expect comments to be made ;). Looking forward to hearing from you...

In case you're dying to see what my previous blog looked like it's still posted at http://workinonit1977.spaces.live.com

August 1-11, 2006 Posts

August 11

Recovering
Yesterday was a bad day. A really bad day. Thankfully I have good friends and adequate tear ducts and today is a better day. I was able to address the part of the issue that was most upsetting, make a decision (not a happy one but a good one) and I got a good night sleep. I think I actually slept through the night. That's probably the only good part of all this, I never sleep through the night. So don't worry, I'll "buck up" and since I'm not a fan of having such a weak spot in my confidence maybe now would be a good time to build it up. Now how do I do that?

August 10

Is it time to go home yet?
I'm having a rough day. Last night was a rough night and it carried over to today. I've been sitting at work, nursing a very bruised and slightly bloody ego (maybe someday I'll explain what happened but not yet) and praying for 5pm to come faster. I'm just wallowing. Wo, wo, wo is me. I just want to go home, crawl in my bed and sleep for the rest of my life. I promise I'll get over it but not today, maybe tomorrow but definately not today. Today my soul feels exposed and raw. I'm must stop writing now, don't want to cry again at work. I didn't wear waterproof mascara. Mistake #5 bazillion.

August 09

WooHoo!
I turned in the last of my financial aid documentation today and ordered my books. WooHoo!

August 08

The past couple days...
The past couple days have been so crazy busy I haven't had time to write. I finally gave my notice at work. Yea!! It makes the whole going back to school and becoming a nurse thing so much more real. No going back now; I am officially, in 2 weeks, a full time student. So weird. The last few months I've been trying to find my way through a million financial aid forms, insurance, medical records, applications, blah, blah, blah. I feel like the whole process is overly complicated and I'm going to die of hand cramps but I have it almost complete and am reasonably confident everything will go through. Pray for me. I have been really worried about depending solely on loans this semester so I sent the word out and last night got a job babysitting a 3 year old boy 10 hours a week. Should be enough to pay for my gas & insurance. I can't explain how relieved I feel. It's like an enormous burden has been lifted. I feel like I've been preparing for this for years and now I'm standing on the brink of my biggest adventure yet. I'm seriously giddy with excitement.

I have more good news but I can't share for another week or so...

August 04

Good Quote
"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness" Edward Stanley

When I was in college I followed a super strict eating and exercise program - everthing I ate was planned, broken down into protein, CHO and fat, counted, measured... and then I worked out, in the gym (non-gym workouts didn't really count) 1.5-2 hours/day 5-6 days/week. I have to admit, it worked and I looked great but then I started eating whatever I wanted on Friday night; that stretched to Saturday night, then all day Saturday and then a general panic that if I curbed my eating at all I would never get to eat what I want again. It sounds irrational but when you deprive yourself for long periods of time your brain knows it's possible that it will never again experience a cookie. So I gained all the weight back and then some and had a lovely eating disorder. It took 7 years before I was ready to try losing weight I was so afraid of that eating disorder. So here I am, on Weight Watchers, not losing as quickly as I'd like but definately making better choices, learning about and trying new foods and learning to listen to my body. And exercise is becoming a good thing again. I, of course, would prefer a quick fix but have learned that to be truly successful I'm going to have to change my life. A while back my cousin Nate said something that really stuck with me, I was complaining I didn't want to be a gym slave and it wasn't fair some people didn't have to work hard, why should I... and he said, essentially, that if I wanted a healthy body I would have to earn it. So it's taken me a while but I'm on the bandwagon. Healthy, happy bodies are earned and I'm working on earning one of my own - but this time in a realistic, normal, healthy way. I've learned from painful experience that if I don't take care of my body it won't take care of me. By the way, I'm wearing one of my favorite Abercrombie shirts that's been sitting a box of smaller clothes for a long time now. I'm smiling. I can't wait to go home and work out.

August 02

It's a GIRL!
My brother Steve and his wife Kelli are having their first baby and today found out they're having the first Palmer Girl! First girl grandchild - I'm the first Palmer girl (and only). I'm so excited. I love baby boys and all the wrestling, growling and chasing involved but I'm so excited to get to do all that (I assume you can growl at a girl) and play dolls and buy her pretty things. I love being an aunt.

It's Official
I am officially extending "Annoying Julie to Death by Driving Unreasonably Slow in Front of Her" day one more day. So please, please get it out of your systems as tomorrow I might start ramming people with my car.

Laguna Seca Pictures (see July 22-23 post)

LAGUNA SECA - JULY 22-23

The lot we parked in with 50,000 of our biker friends...

Tim, Ryan, Me, Joe & Becca on the track.

I rode on Ryan's bike all weekend. Scared me to death at first but now I'm a huge fan!

July 2006 Posts

July 31

Falling
My co-worker fell out of her RV this morning. Again. Yes, she lives in an RV and yes, she regularly falls out of it. While sober. To add to the excitement this morning, she broke the window. Now the RV sports a cardboard and duct tape window. What more can ask for from a co-worker?

Pondering
I've been pondering my situation for a long time and I need to make a decision soon but I don't think I'm any closer now than I've ever been. My problem? Do I stay at my job and try to juggle my semester so as not to incur any more debt or do I quit my job and concentrate solely on school? By the way, once in a nursing program all my bills, life, etc will be paid by student loans so debt is inevitable. It's just a decision of how much and when. I may be able to get a job working part time as a nanny but that would really only pay my health insurance and gas. My tuition and fees have been waived so I would mostly just have living expenses (pretty cheap since I live at home but I'd still have my personal expenses). Also to think about, I'll have 4.5 months between the end of my semester and starting nursing school (that's assuming I get in) so I'll need to work full time then. Financially it's smarter to work but I'll be taking 12 credits and they're the ones that will get me in, or not to a program. And it's organic chemistry, pathophysiology and anatomy! All time intensive classes. My prioity is getting A's across the board but I also don't want to be swimming in debt, oh wait, that's why I'm going back so I can actually have a career that will pay off debt. See why I'm going in circles. Debt scares me, not getting into a program next winter scares me more. Maybe that should tell me something. Another factor, my patho class at CSUEB doesn't start until mid-September so I'll only have 8 credits for a month but once it starts it's on a quarter system so it'll be more intense. But if I get into the patho class at Chabot, I'd rather go there, I'll have 12 credits starting in August. And I was really hoping to take a trip to UT in October for my friend's wedding but if I'm not working that would be irresponsible. Maybe I'll know more after my financial aid meeting on Thursday. I hope so. What to do? And I have two bug bites on my finger - the itching is very distracting! Okay, I'm getting back to work (for now).

July 28

I tried...
I was going to move my blog to Blog Spot so it would be easier for people to leave comments but it was turning out to be a total pain. So sorry, I'll be sticking with msn. If you know how to leave comments without setting up a hotmail account or if you know how to move an entire blog, please let me know. Otherwise, hotmail accounts are free or drop me an email sometime. Thanks!

July 27

Wake me when it's over
I'm so bored. My job isn't exactly stimulating so I'm sitting here, trying to do my work and stay conscious. I keep thinking George was on to something in the Seinfeld episode he was taking naps under his desk. I wonder if anyone would notice...

We're all a little loopy here at work today. My co-worker just snorted. Good thing, I needed a good laugh.

July 25

Today is my birthday
Lately I've been feeling really lonely. I've enjoyed my friends that have visited - immensely - but when they're not here I've been feeling sorry for myself. Last night was the worst, my friends had left, I was turning 29 the next day and I had no vacations to plan or look forward to. Just my crummy job and going back to school next month. Going back to school is a good thing. It makes me happy, fills my time and moves me in the right direction but it doesn't fill the void the distance of good friends leaves. So fast forward to today. By noon my siblings had called my nephews attempting to wish me a happy birthday over the phone, friends I didn't know knew it was my birthday called and emailed, I was invited out for dinner and planned a wakeboarding trip with local friends for Saturday and a family party for Sunday. What was wrong with me last night? There are lots of people out there that love me and think of me. I am so grateful to have been blessed throughout my life with such good friends - everyone should be so lucky. So even though I'm lonely now it's not for lack of friends. Sometimes life leaves us on our own to grow. I've been really pushed this year and most of what I've accomplished has been done with my friends and family cheering from the sidelines but with me running alone.

Last year...
on my birthday I laid on my couch and cried all day. Didn't go to work. Didn't go out. Thought my life was a disappointment and I had no future. I hated my job; my futureless, low paying job, had gained 40 pounds on my already overweight frame, had few friends to spend my time with, didn't feel good - had recently been diagnosed with hypothyroid, and no hope for dating much less marrying anyone, had a mountain of debt that was growing daily and was generally depressed.

This year...
I woke up and went to a job that I still hate but recognize pays my bills and gives me health insurance. If I can get a better one then great, if not it's a means to an end. I have lost 22 pounds. I still have 50 more to go but I'm learning. I still have a lot of issues and insecurity surrounding my weight and food but I'm facing them and working on them. I have visited my friends in UT and they have visited me. They remind me that I'm loved and fun and someday will have time and money to play again. In the meantime they make me laugh and encourage me and try to convince me to move back to SLC. I decided to go back to school to get the nursing degree I've wanted since high school. For the first time I'm okay with my future if I never marry. I still hope to and haven't given up but realize that as a nurse I will be able to support myself, travel and do the international humanitarian work I want to do. I can live a meaningful and fulfilling life and go to bed each night feeling that I've made a difference. I've worked with my brother to learn about debt, to consolidate it, create and live within a budget and save. So far I've saved $2000 to pay toward my debt. Not bad. With my education and persistance I'll be able to eventually pay it off.

So while I'm not exactly where I want to be yet I'm definately heading in the right direction. One of my friends would often say, "Jules, you're great. You're awesome. Just have confidence in yourself." and I would think, "how can I have confidence in myself when I'm out of control and my life isn't going in a positive direction?". Well, my life is now going in a positive direction and with each good decision my confidence grows. I am happy. I'm happy with the choices I'm making and the direction I'm heading. It's often a lonely road but I think I needed it to be, otherwise I would play instead of work and now is the season for me to work. I am grateful to be in this place and that this year I'll be celebrating my birthday instead of yearning for time to slow down. Thank you to all my friends and family who have loved me and stood by me in this challenging year and thanks for remembering my birthday.

July 24

I rode on a bullet bike
Now the adrenaline is wearing off I'm getting really tired. Ryan and Tim took me to the Laguna Seca Grand Prix this weekend and I'm now a HUGE FAN of the whole super fast motorcycle thing. We roasted in the 114 degree heat and I'm seriously reconsidering the moving to AZ idea but I can't express the coolness factor of the whole weekend. Saturday after the races we hopped on the bikes and went out to Cannery Row with all the other riders. They close off Cannery Row to cars and it fills up with bullet bikes and people. I just felt cool carrying my helmet gawking at it all - no one had to know it was only my second time on the back of one of those bikes! I did get less scared and more comfortable over the course of the weekend. I love the acceleration and turning! Not some much the stopping and downhill but hey, those are a great shoulder/back workout so no complaining from me. Parking with all the other bikes on Sunday was awe inspiring - 50,000 bikes were at Laguna Seca and most of them were parked near us. Crazy. Anyway, I'm sure more details will come out as time goes on but right now I'm so tired and I should get back to work.
Just a few quick facts and observations:
1. I did wear a hat the whole weekend (a first for me).
2. I didn't know I could sweat that much.
3. My car is not a bullet bike.
4. When I close my eyes I can still see the back of Ryan's helmet - I stared at it a lot as I didn't want to turn my head and throw Ryan off balance.
5. Ryan told me afterward I could have turned my head.
6. I think my head weighed 200 pounds with that helmet on.
7. Even with 45 SPF sunscreen I got a slight burn.
8. It was cooler in the sun than in the shade.
9. I kept taking my earplugs out to hear the bikes - I loved that sound - it made my heart beat fast - or maybe that was the heat.
10. I've never loved icy lemonade so much.
11. Ryan took me on my first snowmobiling ride and now my first bullet bike ride. What's my next first Ry?
12. I drank so much water on Saturday that even with NyQuil I got up to use the bathroom 4 times that night.
13. I can't remember the last time I was that dirty.
14. When Tim comes you only need to pack your personal belongings - he's the master planner and packer and has everything!
15. You can only drive 55 mph while trailering in CA (bummer).
16. My leg gets longer everytime Ryan starts a story - to bad my arms don't, it'd be easier for me to reach around Ryan's broad chest!
17. Driving across Nevada, in the heat of the day with a broken AC isn't comfortable (I didn't learn this lesson personally but Joe & Becca drove home through the night to avoid a repeat lesson).
18. Spray-on sunscreen is hard to apply evenly.
19. Running across the track, even to move the line along, is not allowed.
20. I adore Tim and Ryan!


July 20

Early Calls
Ryan called this morning at 4:43am to say they're on their way. If it had been anyone else for almost any other reason he would have gotten a instead. I wasn't asleep anyway - to excited to sleep.

July 19

A little less of me...
I lost 1.6 pounds last week! Yea!!

July 18

My thoughts...
I've been trying to think about what to write today but nothing has been coming to me. Karen left this morning and I miss her already. We managed to pack in a trip to Disneyland and a trip to the coast while she was here. She is mad for the ocean, which I could take or leave but mostly leave, so she's always trying to drag me there. I have to admit I had a good time yesterday. We visited Point Bonita Lighthouse, spent a short time at the beach staring at the ocean, and then drove through Sausalito. I guess I'm always worried I'm going to get stuck sitting in the sand, getting fried and staring at the water all day. Need a bit more action than that so yesterday's outing was perfect. Disneyland was super. I think the heat kept most people away so the lines were short. I absolutely LOVED the Hollywood Tower of Terror - it made me even more motivated to go sky diving or bungee jumping. Anything to make my stomach drop like that! So I'll spend the next few days getting ready for Ryan and Tim to come, lots of laundry, unpacking and washing the car to do. I bought a ticket to the races on Saturday so I'll be spending 2 full days watching motorcycle races this weekend. Tim is afraid I'll get bored but I can't imagine being bored around those two. I can't wait... just a few more days.

Also on my mind, Karen met this really great guy on ldssingles.com a while back and thus far things have been going well. I've always been pretty hesitant and maybe a little condesending about online dating but as time has gone on and my options have become more limited I've thought about possibly considering checking it out. So, after I swallowed my pride today, I signed up for a trial period. We'll see what happens. What do you write to a guy you don't know?

July 13

Happy Day
Karen is here! After many delays and visits to several airports she finally made it to Oakland last night. There's something so comforting and satisfying about being reunited with your best friend. We quickly fell into our normal conversation and habits so you'd never know we were apart for a full year. I feel like a piece of me that has been missing has been put back into place. I slept better last night than I have in a long time and that's saying a lot since I was on the couch. These next 6 days are going to be delightful!

July 11

AAGGHHH!!!!
I just spent my entire lunch break and a good sum of money getting my car detailed and when I got in there was a big ring of oil on the passenger seat! They had placed one of the hubcaps on the seat - why would you do that???? So I pointed out the obviously fresh oil stain and the guy asked if I was sure it wasn't already there! I watched him put the hubcap in the car - YES I'M SURE IT WASN'T ALREADY THERE!!! So they cleaned the seat but you can still see the stain. I don't know if I'm annoyed or downright angry but I'm leaning toward angry. I wish I had demanded my money back or made them clean the seat until it was perfect but I just feel like such a jerk when I do that it's not usually worth it. The worst part is now I have to stay late at work to make up the time, I didn't get a good lunch so I'm hungry (which generally makes me cranky anyway) and now my seat has a stain. At least the car got a great wax job. I'll try to think of that everytime I look at the stain on my seat. Dang it, I'm hungry. AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

July 10

Best "You've gained weight" Comment Ever
I'm working on my second diet coke for the day. Feeling kind of gross and bloated but, at least, awake. So, when I thought to myself, "Man, I feel gross and bloated", I thought of my friend. Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroid I managed to pack on about 40 pounds. I was complaining to my friend, whom I hadn't seen in a long time, and he got very quiet then said, "Are you sure you're not just bloated?". 50 pounds? Probably not but it sure made me laugh. Still makes me laugh. I'm going to go have some more diet coke.

Work
I probably shouldn't write how I feel about me job as someone I work with my read it but, oh well. My job was perfect when I got it. I hadn't yet been diagnosed as hypothyroid so just being awake was exhausting so I needed a job close to home with little to no stress that required little thought. Now, my job is so painfully tedious and boring I worry I'm losing brain cells everyday. It requires more effort to stay awake than to do most of my job duties. Why do I stay? They work with my school schedule and it'd be pretty hard to get a job when I know I'm going to quit in May and I need medical benefits. So I sit here for 40 hours a week and worry I'm getting stupider by the minute. At least I get to take a four day weekend this week and a three day weekend next week. I can't wait to see my friends. Maybe I'll think about that for a while...

On the other hand, I get to spend just 4 hours a week volunteering in an ER. They tend to be the best 4 hours of my week. I spend most of my time comforting patients, running errands for the nurses, tidying up and generally trying to make everyone's stay a little bit better. From time to time I get to be a listening ear, I love being able to take a moment of my day to make someone else's a little bit better. This week I sat with a boy with a broken arm while his mom phoned his dad, just for about 5 minutes but I was able to make him laugh and distract him from his fear and pain for a short time, it made my day. I can't wait to become a nurse and get to spend my whole day assisting, treating and comforting those around me. My duties will be different but the goal is the same, to be helpful and comforting in a time of need. I can't wait.

July 07

Vacation Countdown
4.5 DAYS LEFT: Next Wednesday my best friend & college roommate Karen will fly into Oakland then we'll run off to my favorite restaurant in SF and then Thursday we'll cruise down to Disneyland with a couple of our friends and ultimately meet up with our other college roommate and friend Bree. Did that make any sense??? Anyway, I'm so excited!!! My first roadtrip and vacation in ages. And just after she leaves my two favorite men, Ryan and Tim are coming in from UT for the weekend. I get to go to my first motorcycle race with them. It's sure to be entertaining. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it!

July 06

Weight Watchers
Last night I finally passed the 10 pound weight loss goal!!!!! Actually I've lost a total of 11.6 pounds with WW and another 10 before that so I'm down 21.6 total! YEA!!! This process has been a lot harder than I thought it would be but I've earned every pound lost and I'm getting better at it and, most importantly, I'm feeling better - physically and emotionally (my confidence really took a hit with this weight gain). I'm really looking forward to the day when I can hike and swim and wakeboard and rock climb or whatever else I want to do and not feel hampered down by all these extra pounds. That day is getting closer and closer. Such good feelings of satisfaction.

July 05

Shoes
If the show "What Not To Wear" saw my shoe collection right now I think they'd throw out half of it, the half I actually wear. I've always been a huge fan of the flip-flop but have recently taken the relationship to a new level. Why? It seems most shoes are just uncomfortable. Certainly not the worst offenders, but maybe since their function is to protect and comfort my feet during strenuous activity, are my last pair of running shoes. Loved them because they were cute but they never really fit my foot. So yesterday I decided to bite the bullet and buy a pair of running shoes that fit properly. I walked into Foot Locker without much hope and even less when the associate came and spoke to me.
Foot Locker Man: "What kind of shoe are you looking for?"
Me: "Running or aerobic. Not sure."
FLM: "Totally different shoes blah, blah, blah..."
Me: "Then I'm more interested in a running shoe."
FLM: "With your foot: wide forefoot, narrow heel and high arch; you want this shoe."
Me (In flip flops): To myself - Are you serious? I didn't even see you look at my feet. I've never had someone fit my foot well much less on the first, off handed try. I'll definately have to go to Forward Motion (a running store). To him - "Hmm, okay."
I tried on the one pair of shoes he brought, with the insole designed especially for pronating women and the heavens parted, the sun shone and I was walking on the best fitting shoe I'd ever worn. The sole fit snuggy into all my arches, the back cupped my heel and my toes had the freedom to wiggle. I'd almost call it magic but this guy has found his calling. He's the best shoe picker outter EVER!!!! I didn't even wear my new shoes around the house for a couple days. They went directly to the July 4th fireworks where I celebrated foot comfort and my freedom at the same time.

On the note of freedom "The World According to Megan" has posted the "Delaration of Independence". I read it this morning, reminiced about my trip last year to Philadelphia and the sacrifices made to create this country and maintain our freedom over the years. It was a good reminder to read it again. I'm grateful to live in a country established and maintained by such brave and heroic men and women.

July 03

ER Visits
WARNING: TOTALLY RANDOM THOUGHT I was just thinking about our patients in the ER on Saturday night. Most were there for fevers (not particularly high fevers). Fevers. I have never once been to the ER for a fever. Are you supposed to go to the ER for a fever? We even joke that if ever managed to get a fever I'd probably be so close to dead the ER would be futile (my normal temp is 96 and even with ear/sinus infections never got over 99). Maybe it was just my mom. We were Kaiser kids (I'll try to limit my derogitory comments) and our ER was 40 minutes away. My mom hated going. It involved packing us up, dropping someone off at Grandma's and then sitting in the waiting room for no less than 5 hours (that was if you were at high risk for dying). She said by the time she saw a doctor in the ER we could be in an appointment with Urgent Care. So, except for the time I forced my mom to take me - I had torn and sprained the ligaments in my elbow and couldn't stand the swelling or the pain - I never saw the inside of an ER. Not even when, completely my accident, I poured sand in my eye, which scratched my retina causing me to have to wear an eye patch for a week - the week of cheerleading try-outs (don't act surprised I didn't make it - I didn't have any depth perception). I do have an exaggerated fear of going blind now any time I get something in my eye. Once in college I became a regular, of sorts, due to recurring migraines (thank heaven for heavy narcotics) and suddenly becoming accident prone. Even in my limited experience I've always loved the ER. Something about the rush and quick answers, well not at Kaiser but in other institutions. Just made me chuckle though, worried moms bringing their kids in with fevers. Maybe my mom didn't love us that much or maybe she realized that Tylenol and our pjs was a perfectly reasonable solution.

July 02

Wishing
My friend sent me an email about an up-coming cruise. Not an ordinary cruise but one with an estimated 800 LDS young, single adults. I want to go. There's really no way that I can as I wouldn't be able to swing paying off my debt, saving for the cruise, and paying for school. Besides, by the end of July I will be out of vacation time and the cruise is scheduled in the middle of my critical semester. It doesn't matter to me that it's a cruise, it could be almost anything, it's that I know several of my SLC friends will end up going and maybe even some of my CA friends and I'll miss an opportunity to be worry free and having fun with a bunch of kids my age and religion, if only for a week. When I lived in SLC I was part of a group that went on roadtrips all the time. I don't know that I've ever had so much fun and, sadly, since I moved back to CA I haven't found that again. Besides, there aren't many guys around here that are older, settled, have real jobs and are still single. Trips like the ones I went on in UT and this cruise give me hope that there are still guys out there and that I'm not to old to find someone. I know, I'm only 28 - almost 29 - but in the LDS community the pickings can get pretty slim. I wish I could somehow convince the organizers to reschedule for March 2007. That would be a good time for me. Yeah, probably not.

ER
I spend my Saturday nights working as a volunteer in one of our local emergency rooms. Most people look at me funny and question why I would give up my Saturday nights to work, especially after working a normal 40 hour week and come fall taking 12 credits. My answer, it's usually a lot more entertaining than anything else I could do. It's actually the highlight of my week. So one night a patient was brought in, by ambulance, having passed out from heavy drinking. Blood is not a problem for me but I found out quickly I don't do so well with vomit. Don't worry, I did fine but wow I had to concentrate on not following suit. So the lesson in this experience, I've never drank, never thought it was a good plan but that night I realized why I would never drink. This patient, once conscious, was a respectable, well spoken and horribly embarrased about passing out in a public place, oozing vomit and being completely out of control. I never want to self induce that situation. Maybe not enough for others but enough for me.

June 2006 Posts

June 30

Watermelon
I love watermelon. Eating watermelon on a hot day makes me happy. And sticky. It's the best. Lucky me, I had watermelon for lunch.

Long Days & My Mom
So the last couple of days I've made a dent in my arm chair and taken napping to a whole new level. To bad there was absolutely nothing on tv. This "viral ear infection" has been slightly better than miserable. Note to self: when you're starting to feel better, wait a day or two before working out and going back to a normal schedule. At least yesterday I trekked down to the video store and got something decent to watch. "The New World" was beautiful to watch but slow and "Nanny McPhee" was thoroughly entertaining and how can I resist Colin Firth.

Living with your parents, as an adult, has it's pros and cons. In my particular situation the pros far outweigh the cons. I have my very own space, which is almost as spacious as many of my apartments, my parents don't question my comings and goings and they are amazingly supportive of my decisions. That being said, the best part of living at home is still having a mom. My mom was gone most of the time I was sick but returned Wednesday night and last night brushed my hair and massaged my aching head. My mom was given the nurture gene twice and being the only daughter I have received the bulk of the benefit. It's hard to tell a women who has devoted the better part of her life to raising and loving her children that you appreciate it. The words just aren't enough. I hope my life will be a testament to hers and that someday she'll see how much I love and appreciate her.

June 27

Hurray!!!!!! I just received the most wonderful email EVER!!!! The pathophysiology professor at CSUEB emailed and said she'd let me into her class. Why is this so great? The schools in my area don't offer patho unless you're in their nursing program but I need it to get INTO the program I want. So I was registered to take it on-line, which I was dreading. I had planned to take it on-line over the summer but the schedule didn't work out so I was going to have to take while taking Organic Chemistry & Anatomy this fall. And ONLINE!!! I'm a great classroom learner - horrible on-line learner. I've never been so thrilled to drop a class! I'm doing my happy dance.

My Favorite Day
How is it that I can feel so cruddy but as soon as I get to the MD my symptoms mysteriously disappear only to reappear as soon as I leave? I had an appointment today to do my quarterly thyroid blood test and since my ear has been killing me and I feel like I've been kicked in the head every time I move for the past three days I thought I'd mention it. Turns out I have a viral ear infection. So, I feel crappy but there's nothing we can do about it. Hmmm. Great. So on my way back I thought I'd stop by the mechanic as my car has been doing this weird stutter thing and, of course, it drives just fine for the mechanic...until the very end. I'm not crazy after all. Seems I need to replace a couple of spark plugs. I'm so glad it's just spark plugs. The funny thing was, my mechanic made a comment about how symptoms never appear when you're at the MD - cars are the same way - they always work for the mechanic. I had a little chuckle to myself. So after that lovely morning I'm grateful it's Tuesday because Tuesdays are my favorite day. Tuesdays are my "do things that make me proud of myself" day. So on Tuesdays I go to my aerobics class - my sister-in-law convinced me to take Jazzercise classes with her but that's a story for another day - and then I go to Weight Watchers. I do exercise on other days but Tuesday is set aside special for taking care of me. By the end of the day I'm motivated, proud and ready to take on another week. I just hope I feel good enough for Jazzercise tonight but if not I'll still go for a walk and get to go to WW. Tuesday is the best day.

June 26

Riddle
"If a frog falls down a fifty-foot well and has to climb his way out making three feet progress every day, but slipping back two feet every night, in how many days will he escape?"

Answer: 48 days. "The frog climbs one foot per day but on the forty-eighth day, he climbs three feet and reaches the top of the well before he can slide back again."

(Riddle taken from "The Rule of Four" by Ian Caldwell)

I feel like that frog. Two years ago I fell, over the course of a year into a deep well. My health declined, I gained 45 pounds, I accrued a lot of debt and managed to socially isolate myself. It was a pretty bad year and as time went on my desperation led to more bad decisions which led to more desperation and so on. But last December my cousins new wife introduced me to a life coach and with her help, and lots of work on my part, I hit the bottom of the hole and I started climbing out. In the beginning it was 3 steps forward 2.5 steps back but as I grew stronger so did my ability to prevent sliding. Now I'm closer to 3 steps forward .5 step back. I'm not out of the hole yet and some days I can't even see the top but I'm enjoying the trip and I'm pleased with my progress. I've learned alot in this process but most importantly I'm learning to focus on my goals and reach for my dreams. Life is wonderful when you have a goal. So, like the frog, if I stick to my goal and work on overcoming my challenges long enough one day I'll reach the top. Of course then I'll have a new challenge but that's a different story.

June 23

Swimming
I went swimming during my lunch break today. How is that possible? Well, the pool is 5 minutes away, today is casual day, my hair now goes into and ponytail and someone was smart enough to figure out how to make mascara waterproof. So I had 20 minutes to swim or try to get from one end of the pool to the other without drowning. I think the length of a standard lap pool hasn't gotten longer since I was a kid. At one point I could see a lifeguard walking toward me and heard a voice over the loud speaker and thought, "Self, he's coming for you. He thinks you're drowning and is going to try to save you." Lucky for me he was just announcing free swim. All in all it was the best lunch break I've ever had.

Okay, so maybe three posts in one day is excessive but this is all new and fun for me.

About me...
I thought I'd write a list of things about me for your entertainment and so I can numerate all the things I'm grateful for. So here goes.

25 Things About Me

1. I have 3 brothers, 3 sisters-in-law, 3 nephews and a niece or nephew on the way and my parents are still married and like each other.
2. My family (immediate and extended) has the greatest influence and impact on my life.
3. I'm a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormons).
4. I still drink Diet Coke almost everyday.
5. I recently went back to school to get my nursing degree - I apply to schools this fall/winter.
6. I volunteer in an ER on Saturday nights and find it as entertaining and exciting as any night out with friends.
7. My best friend lives in CO but once I conned her into moving to CA to be my roommate.
8. I love going on my dad's boat - it's my happy place.
9. There's nothing better than having one or all of my nephews curled up on my lap.
10. Except maybe when they say my name for the first time or tell my they love me.
11. Someday I want my own kids - preferably 4 so everyone has a buddy at Disneyland.
12. I have to find the man of my dreams first.
13. I believe that men are good and dad's are essential.
14. Southern Utah is the most beautiful place I've ever been. I can breathe deeply there.
15. I love to be wet.
16. I'm not scared of heights as long as I'm attached to something.
17. In other words, I love to rock climb (but haven't in to long).
18. I'm always claustrophobic - an unhappy side effect of the 1989 Earthquake. I wasn't in a cozy spot but the image became to clear.
19. I have faith in things I'll never see in this life.
20. As much as I love taking photographs I love developing them more. I believe this is quickly and sadly becoming a lost art.
21. I drive to fast.
22. I want to learn to fly a plane.
23. Cala Lillies are my favorite flower but I'm crazy allergic to Easter Lillies.
24. I'm allergic to almost everything that blooms in UT - I was tested.
25. The older I get the more I don't know.

Starting a blog...
My first visit to a blog was "Confessions of a Student Nurse" a few months ago then came "The Adventures of the Future Dr. Cara" and now my favorites list is as long as my arm. I refer to them in daily conversation like they are my personal friends. The other night I read a lesson for one of my church manuals on the importance of keeping a journal and the thought has been weighing on my mind since. So this morning when I got an email from my sister-in-law that she started a blog "Thoughts of Purple" I thought I might as well jump on the bandwagon. So this blog will probably be as random as my days and my thoughts. If you stumble upon it, I hope you enjoy it.