Lazy days

I am really enjoying my very, very lazy Christmas vacation. I really haven't been doing much of anything, well, I go to PT for my knee then take a nap, have something to eat... that's really about it. I'm determined to actually go do something tomorrow.

The Knee: My knee is healing well. For those who haven't already heard, I wanted to run in the Ragnar Relay race in Feb but thought I should have my knee checked out first. I originally injured my knee wakeboarding and had surgery a few years ago but shortly after that surgery my knee started catching then locking. It wasn't constant so I didn't worry about it. As it turns out a piece of cartilage had broken off the back of my patella (kneecap) and was floating inside my knee. Like an oyster, my body calcified it and by the time it was removed it was about 2 cm long or about the size of your pinkie knuckle. There was also cartilage damage and a "pothole" in my patella from where the piece came off. So the surgeon removed the loose piece and cleaned up the cartilage. The good news is if I don't aggravate it I won't need surgery again. The bad news is, everything but walking, biking and swimming will aggravate it. Eventually I will probably need another surgery to repair the patella but now is not the time. The Ragnar Relay is out of the question - as far as running it goes. My team will still get to run and I will be a driver and, hopefully, a pacer. We're allowed to pace night runners on a bike so my goal is to do that. Sorry for the very long story.

The move: I loved my former apartment but sadly it was far to far away from the hospital I work at (30 min in the AM and I have to be there by 6:30am - and anywhere from 30-90 min in the afternoon). I found a great little complex that's only 8 minutes from work and 5 minutes from school. It's gated and in the only neighborhood in Tucson that even remotely reminds me of home. I was a bit worried about the size (it's small) but I parted with some of my possessions and Dad helped create more storage and I think it will be lovely. I will be rooming with a friend from CA. She's coming out to attend grad school at U of A. I got to spend a few days in the new place before coming home and I think it will be wonderful. I'll post pictures when I get back.

School: I won't brag, but I'm a really good nursing student. I know none of you are surprised (because that's what everyone keeps saying) but frankly, I am. I fully expected to be a B student and I'm not. School can be very challenging at times and sometimes I think I might scream at my instructors but then I work with my patients and I love it. I know the Lord has blessed me tremendously with this goal and I am very grateful. Although sometimes I wonder if the Lord is just trying to protect his poor, defenseless children against beginners like me. Regardless, I love it.

So. Cal Trip: My one roadtrip of the semester was to Anaheim to visit with Bree and Karen, my two roommates from BYU days. We've stayed in touch over the years and they are still my best friends. We celebrated Bree's son's 1st birthday on Saturday with a big family/friend party and then had some time in the evening to catch up. Sunday Bree had some family obligations so Karen and I sneaked away to Disneyland for a day. It was fun but sadly I didn't feel well in the morning and Karen didn't feel well in the evening. Karen actually vomited (sorry) for the first time in something like 20 years. Sad but kind of impressive. Glad I could be there for such a momentous occasion. Crazy enough, I ran into my cousin Spencer while standing in line for Pirates of the Caribbean! He was there with his classmates on choir tour and his mom (my Aunt Debbie) was chaperoning. Sometimes prayers we don't utter are answered in the strangest ways. It was wonderful to visit with Debbie and, as always, she gave much needed support and advice. I often wonder why I get to be so blessed.

Oh yeah and I decided to plan a trip to England when I graduate and (if they have one) go on a LDS single adult cruise. Always have to be planning something... Can't wait!

I only have pictures from Disneyland - I really thought I had more... Enjoy!

I know it's been a really long time since my last post so here's a quick up-date. In the time since my last post I have been to So. Cal. for Bree's son's 1st birthday and a quick Disneyland trip, a Thanksgiving trip home, finished clinicals, had knee surgery, moved across town, finished finals and came home for Christmas! Been a bit busy. I have some pictures and some commentary but right now I'm enjoying being in my sweats at noon and watching Project Runway so I'll do it later!

Sometimes I just love Grey's Anatomy.

Thank you for all the words of encouragement. As you all know this is not a new trial for me and is not likely to be over any time soon. Many of you have said you don't understand my particular situation but we've all had similar challenges. I appreciate your experience, your prayers and your love. I'm tremendously blessed to have such a loving and supportive family. I miss you all.

Lest you think my life is all challenges and disappointments I thought I'd give you an update on clinical. I DON'T HAVE CRAZY INTENSE NURSING INSTRUCTOR HOVERING OVER ME AND STRESSING ME OUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER!!!!!! Wow, that felt good. My clinical group is divided into 2 groups. The first part of the semester I had crazy lady and now I have, worst lecturer in the program but really good clinical instructor. I just took a deep breath. I was assigned to a new grad nurse on Monday (Nazi Instructor flipped out) so I had to get a new patient today - Mellow Instructor didn't make me complete a new write-up. YEA! Somehow I managed to do one anyway - just because I wanted to figure out what was wrong with him but I did it at the hospital not at home. In addition, she doesn't hover (I think I may have mentioned that) and she gives positive feedback. Actually, while observing my assessment she counted respirations for me. I wouldn't have known except I told her I'd have to go back and get them as the patient wouldn't stop talking and I wasn't able to count. She told me not to worry - she counted for me! Besides clinical instructor greatness, the unit I'm in is way more mellow. Not less intense but less chaotic. It makes a huge difference. It's a much smaller unit and the nurses interact with each other more. It just feels like a better environment to me. If I were a patient - it's where I would want to be. I don't think I want to do med-surg but if I do, I want to be on that unit.

So I completed my assignment that's due tomorrow and I'm going to watch Bones and House and eat pinenuts. Not a bad day. Not bad at all.

Where do I belong?

I've been in Tucson now for about 5 months and have found some friends and even a boy to like. About a week ago I realized that my friends and I are just friends (again) and that I needed to find some people closer to my age and experience. So tonight I went to an FHE group for 30-45 year olds. The guys that were there were all well over 40 and no more socially developed than they were as awkward 20 somethings. Not to say they weren't nice but no real hope either. Now I know I came to Tucson to go to nursing school but I did hope that I would find a social group and, more importantly, someone to date and marry. My hopes are pretty shattered right now. It took about all my fortitude to not stop by Scott's on the way home to plead for a chance. I'm still waiting for him to call. He went from calling 4-5 times/week to 8 days with no calls. Not much hope there either. Sorry to be such a downer but since the only people who read this are those who know and love me - I thought I could be honest about what's really going on in my life.

P.S. I did see Scott at the Halloween Party and was optimistic but since he hasn't called since - well, I'm 30 and not married - so not so optimistic.

Halloween Party

My friends at the Wilson House (Scott, Chris (& Jaime), Brian and Dan) hosted a Halloween party on Saturday night. I went as a Mormon Go-Go Dancer.


Don't I look "spectacular"?


Never managed to get the hosts all in one picture
Brian, Scott, Dustin (Brian's friend)

Dan

*For some reason it won't let me add anymore pictures. There were TONS of people there, dancing, flirting - it was really fun. Can't wait for the next house party!

To view more photos try:

http://picasaweb.google.com/julieapalmer/
2007HalloweenPartyTheWilsonHouse?authkey=YzBhEfW6Csk

Fun activities of the past few weeks...

At the corn maze. None of us have any sense of direction and never managed to get out of the entrance. Fun though.

Last week my friends hosted a southern shrimp boil. There was shrimp and crab legs and I ate both. Here's the evidence.

Me eating shrimp

Jaime, Chris and Scott - with the crap legs (yes, I did try the crap legs)

Last Saturday Scott and I went to the desert museum. There are cool animals at the desert museum.

Me and Scott

Is anyone else unable to upload photos? I've been trying for a couple days now and it keeps giving me error messages.

To answer Ashley's question from ages ago... An Eegee is like a Slurpy but more icey and way yummier. I was going to take a picture of one but somehow I eat the whole thing before I get my camera out.

The past weeks have been crazy with clinicals. Turns out, I get attached to my patients. It's been pretty hard on me. My last patient was really miserable and there just wasn't much we could do for her. She kept telling me she wanted to die. Do you know how painful it is when you are doing everything you can to help someone and they want to die but it's just not their time yet? It's heartbreaking.

School has been really hard this semester and I've been seriously wondering why I'm doing this to myself. I keep plugging away at it and slowly it's getting done but the joy of it all has definitely been lost. The problem is we can't have an experience without having a huge assignment attached to it. For example, I was in GYN surgery this week - pretty cool - now I have to write a paper about it. I suppose that's what school is all about.

On the other hand, I've been really enjoying my friendship with the guys and Jaime (that's actually how she spells her name). We've done some pretty fun things lately but for some reason blogger won't let me up-load pictures right now so you'll have to check back for the details...

To the Mom's in my life.

I got this email from someone in my RS. It made me think of my mom and my sisters. Just want you guys to know how much I love you and admire the work you're doing in your homes. Miss you more than you know.

Invisible Woman

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son to
school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street
when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young
fella?"

"Nobody," he shrugged. No body? The crossing guard and I laughed. My
son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my
goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say
something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and
nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for
the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say
again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been
there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he
was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there
was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when
you are." He just kept right on talking.

I'm invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,
the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the
phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't
you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on
the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my
head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?
Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of
hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is
it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney
Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum
laude but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to
be seen again.

She's going¸ she's going¸ she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return
of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a
fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she
stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put
together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for
myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only
thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in
a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter
in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with
a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly
sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To
Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are
building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of
their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never
see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the
eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit
the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving
a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the
man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a
beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And
the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I
see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you
does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no
cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.
You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what
it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of
my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.
As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The
writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could
ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people
willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at
4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table."
That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just
want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more
to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if
we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the
world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty
that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible
women.

~~Author Unknown

So walking back from the mailbox just now I thought, "self, this is a truly beautiful night. The air is clear and just a little crisp and the perfect temperature. And oh, how lovely, I'm going to walk across this nice, freshly mowed, freshly sprinklered grass. ACK! This grass is like walking on slippery astro-turf!!!". And so it goes in Tucson.

While listening to conference I decided to follow the council of Pres. Eyring and write down what the Lord has done for me today.
1. I didn't finish researching all 25 of my patients meds (21 of which I'm not allowed to give anyway) and my teacher didn't ask to see them. I'm hoping this blessing continues on for the remainder of the week.
2. My patient didn't need to have his colostomy bag cleaned. I'm guessing my luck won't hold on that one tomorrow.
3. I didn't stab anyone, including myself with a pen, fork or any other pointy object. While this sounds a bit silly it's been very tempting lately. Especially my professors.
4. I really like the new Eegee flavor. I really have to take joy in the simple things.

Sad

My pepper grinder died today. It made a mess all over my plate and the counter and the floor.

Ahh, not hot

Last night was the first night, since moving to Tucson, that I wasn't hot. I actually got to sleep under both my sheet and blanket in my silky pajamas! I even slept with my window open! Oh happy night!!!

Peds +

I'm so happy - I'm watching Bones. My very favorite show. I missed the season premiere last week - I'm sure that's why it was such a crappy week - except for all the other crappy things that happened.

So for this week. Scott and I went up to Mt. Lemmon on Sunday night - no, we're not dating - this is me we're talking about! But it was certainly nice to get out of the city.

The past weeks have brought me to a very disturbing conclusion, I think I may be destined for peds. I spent the past two weeks in a peds clinic and an elementary school. I actually really like the kiddos and I kind of think they like me. I'm sure this is no surprise to most of you but working with kids is not all popsicles and stickers. I'm worried about working with crazy parents, sending kids home with crazy parents and teenagers but I wonder if the potential for good outweighs the frustration. No decisions yet just some ideas. But so you can get an idea of what I have been doing during my rotation I'm posting my peds journals. Enjoy.

Overall Activities:

In the morning I discussed my goals with the nurse and we agreed I would focus on intake assessments. I was able to complete assessments, including rooming and documentation, on three infants and two children. Of the five children I assessed, two were in the clinic due to illness. All but one of my patients spoke English. My Spanish speaking patient brought her sister to translate. I felt comfortable obtaining histories – with my older patients (ages 9 and 12) I spoke directly to the patients and then asked the parent if I needed more information or clarification. I did feel awkward asking about domestic violence but I’m sure I’ll be more confident with practice. One patient had a suspicious story which I noted and then discussed with the physician. The parents and patients I worked with today were cooperative and, except for the patient cited above, forthcoming with needed information and were patient with me. I observed one of the residents unpack, assess, clean and repack a MRSA abscess. I gave two immunization injections and performed a genetic disease blood test.

Personal Reactions/Issues/Concerns:

I got off to a slow start – I don’t think I was clear enough the nurse I was working with regarding my goals and what I could do. While I didn’t perform much patient care in the beginning of the day I did get a better idea of the paperwork and organization involved in running a clinic. Once I clarified my goals I was given more opportunities to participate in patient care. I learned today that at times I will have to speak up more when I want learning opportunities.

Overall Activities:

We didn’t have very many patients in the morning so I shadowed the nurse as she went through her morning routine and performed intake assessments as patients came in. In the afternoon we had three extra doctors in for their private patients so I was busy doing intake assessments and documentation. I didn’t get a chance to learn the vision and hearing tests as the one patient that needed it was sent home before I was given the chance.

Personal Reactions/Issues/Concerns:

I enjoyed the people that I got to work with and the patients, however, I found clinic work to be slow and repetitive. It seemed to me the RNs mostly do paperwork and intake assessments but besides that have little patient contact. There weren’t many opportunities to do procedures as they aren’t normally done in the clinic and shots/immunizations/etc are given by a CNA (who wasn’t allowed to supervise me). It was interesting to see the difference between a clinic setting and a hospital setting but I think, for now, a clinic is too slow and limited for me.

Overall Activities:

The plan was for me to do hearing and vision screening for the majority of the day; however, so many children came in sick today that I ended up working with nurse. I was able to do evaluations of fevers, sore throats, scrapes, stomachaches, headaches, asthma and a few minor head injuries (I was very excited to use my penlight!). I sent a few kids home with fevers and sore throats. I even got to help clean up a couple of “spills” and “accidents”. I did learn how to do a hearing test – and the child we practiced on failed his hearing test in his left ear. I was able to look into his ear with the otoscope – very cool. He was sent home to have x-rays of his wrist (his chief complaint) and to see his pediatrician about his hearing. After talking to the nurse about my peds project I decided to focus on one of the children with asthma. The nurse told me there has been an increase in the number of children with asthma so I thought it would be good to research and teach on (besides, maybe I’ll learn more about how to treat my own symptoms).

Personal Reactions/Issues/Concerns:

The children that came in were really sweet. I enjoyed working with them. It took me a little while to warm up to them but after observing Dr. Chapman’s interaction I was more comfortable and better at getting them to talk to me. By the end of the day I was able to care for children on my own while the nurse was working with others (of course she always checked my evaluations). I thought the nurse was good at her job, needed more help and a better organization system. The kids really love her though and it’s obvious how much she cares for them.

Overall Activities:

This morning I helped with the children that came in sick – lots of scrapes, bruises and bumps. Midmorning I started on vision and hearing exams. One of the children (kindergarten age) I tested was undiagnosed color blind, which was interesting. What he saw and what I saw were completely different. I tried to be very encouraging and not let on that there was anything different about his test. During my afternoon testing I had a child who wanted glasses (he told me) and then tested 20/200 on his eye exam. I think he’s going to have to be retested. Unfortunately the boy who comes in for nebulizer treatments came in while I was testing so I didn’t get to do any teaching with him nor did I get to set up his treatment.

Personal Reactions/Issues/Concerns:

I really enjoyed my experience the elementary school. The children were delightful to work with and the staff was helpful and grateful for all that I did. I don’t think I want to be a school nurse anytime soon but possibly later in my career. I like that as a school nurse you can influence a child to be healthier and teach parents. I think it could be a very rewarding position.

GI Lab

I only got blood on the floor once. My nurse said I have beautiful technique. My first IV stick wasn't, as they say, successful but then again that vein was never seen again. All the rest, not bad for a newbie. I actually really enjoyed starting IV lines and, yes maybe it's sadistic, but I liked sticking the vein. There's quite an art to it but my patients said I did great. And the blood - I just forgot to occlude the vein before pulling out the needle. I won't forget that again! Oh, and while I was in the GI lab I got to see a couple colonoscopies and an EGD (esophogus, stomach, small intestine). Pretty cool and thankfully everyone who had a colonoscopy today followed their prep routine so there was NO POOP! Seriously, that's a REALLY good thing.

P.S. I posted some new pictures on my "Better Week" post.

Typical for Clinical

Everything smells like pee to me and I have vital signs written on the inside of my left arm. Pretty typical result of clinical. Off to the gym - where everything will smell like pee, sweat and BO. Lucky me.

Good News

This has been a much better week. I started clinical on Monday, well technically Tuesday as Monday was orientation. I was assigned to a nurse who also happens to be a nursing instructor at Pima. I am so lucky - and I'm not being sarcastic. She was wonderful! She had me tag along with all her patients as well as take care of my own patient. That way I got to do WAY more stuff than I would have. I doubt it's exciting to anyone else but I got to give a heparin shot, an insulin shot, reposition patients, manage a chest tube, see dialysis, work with contact precautions patients (a preview to my infectious disease career) and give LOTS of meds. I remember now why I want to be a nurse. Sometimes I find the class work and lectures tremendously overwhelming and miserable but once I'm working with patients (minus long-term care) I remember why I'm doing this. I love it.

Overall this week has been better. I managed to get to institute this week - I've been making a real effort. I'm taking a Doctrines of the Gospel class for 25-30 year olds. It's interesting and enjoyable to hang out with others my age (sort of my age). I've exercised 5 times this week - 2 of those times being racquetball. Racquetball is my new favorite sport. I'm getting better at it. I can actually beat most of the new players and hold my own with the more experienced ones. I've only been hit a couple of times but this week I managed to whack my own hand with the racket. I have a lovely bruise now.

(I know you can't see it very well in the photo but I thought you'd all like to see a photo of my hand!)

Friday night I went swimming/hot tubing with Scott, Chris, Jaime and Brian then watched a movie and today I'm going over to their house to watch the football game. While that might not seem like a big deal to most people I'm really enjoying having my own friends (that call me). It's taken a while to find my group.

Mark (behind), Wes (front left), me, Jamie, Chris, Amy (in front) at the football game.

Next week will be more of the same - except I have to go in on Sunday to get my patient. I'm bummed that there was no way to resolve that but what can I do, right?

It's been a long time...

I know it's been a very long time since I last blogged. In the past month I finished my first level of nursing school with a 4.0, went home to see my adorable nephews and nieces and have just finished my first 3 weeks of level 2. My first level was challenging as I was new to Tucson, lonely, developing asthma and trying to figure out where the heck I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing. Second term has been a nightmare. Here are a few of the highlights.

This semester has been overwhelming at best. We have more assignments that I can comprehend completing (I made the mistake of making a list of all the assignments and when they're due. Every time I look at it my heart starts to race and I start sweating). The assignments would be reasonably do-able except we have 3 days of clinical (which require hours of prep work) and 2 full days of lecture. Even that was do-able but then they told us we have to go to our hospitals (mine is 45 minutes away) on Sunday night to get info on our Monday patient AND THEN do a huge prep assignment. The estimated time - 4-6 hours not including travel time. There went my Sunday. This just officially became a 7 day/week program. I've never been particularly rigid about my Sunday behavior but since starting this program my Sunday's have become precious. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this. Honestly, I don't. I talked to the professor and there isn't really a way around it but they will try to negotiate our clinical days for Tues-Thurs next semester. Anyway, I can't talk about it anymore - it just makes me upset and desperate and I can't do anything about it. Actually I've been so stressed I left my cell phone at Albertsons last week and just the other day left it in a lecture hall - oh, and after 45 min on the phone with Verizon they told me I can't get insurance on it. Such has been my life these past couple of weeks. On my way back into the building to search for my phone I ran into my clinical instructor - she asked how I was doing and, on cue, my eyes welled up with tears. Thankfully they didn't roll down my cheeks! Got to feel good about that!

In better news, I went camping with my ward Friday night and got to know Scott a bit better. No one knows who Scott is so... He's Dan's roommate... need another hint? I just met him a couple weeks ago and thought he was kind of quiet but Theresa told me that he said I was fun so I had to think he was a pretty cool guy. So last weekend he called and invited me (and my roommates but that's not important) over for a BBQ and we laughed about it's hard to find other grown-ups to talk to so we have to stick together (he's a ripe old age of 26). So I drove down with him and a couple of non-verbal 20 year old girls and back just the 2 of us. I had the first real, I'm being completely myself, comfortable, intelligent conversation since I moved here. One where I didn't just listen but someone actually listened to me!!!! It was incredibly delightful. Of course we've already entered the friend zone (as I am prone to do) so if anyone has any suggestions on that - let me know.

And now to entertain you. Two weeks ago my bishop had a fireside during which we talked about truth. I made a comment and to finish it off a bit flippantly I said, "well of course, all truth can be circumcised into one great whole." Yes, I did say circumcised not circumscribed. My bishop took the liberty of correcting me at which point the entire ward erupted in laughter. I have to admit - it was pretty dang funny. Turns out word travels fast and while my identity has, for the most part, been kept on the down low, the story has not. Last night at the campfire someone brought it up at which point it was pointed out that it was me who said it. I wonder how long it will take for that one to become legend.

12 hours

6:30am - leave for work
6:30pm - leave the hospital
Hours of work: 11
Hours on my feet: 10
7:00pm - arrive home
9:00pm - go to bed

11 hours is a very long time to be at work. Friday will be 12 hours.

Wild Weekend

My friend came out from CA to visit this past weekend. She's been thinking about applying to UA so it became my job to convince her that Tucson is a rockin' place to live. So maybe it's not rockin' but at least a fun place to live. She came the best possible weekend - weather wise. The monsoons finally managed to drop the temp down to a reasonable level and the humidity wasn't to bad. She got to witness a monsoon rain. I absolutely love those. We had a really big one on Friday. Driving home from work I had to go through these huge, intersection wide puddles - don't worry, I watched to make sure cars smaller than mine got through first. I wouldn't want to be fined under the Stupid Motorist Law (yes, it's really called that). Anyway, cars would go through these puddles and would put out wakes comparable to a medium size boat! It was so bizarre to watch! I wanted to get out and take a picture but not quite as much as I wanted to stay dry and get home to eat my dinner - 12 hour shifts are long. My car got me home reasonably unscathed except now when I use the remote to lock it the horn sounds like it has a cold. I'm hoping that will somehow, miraculously resolve on its own. The regular horn still works fine.

Speaking of 12 hour shifts, I finished my first week in OB. I got to observe a C-Section (Mom and Crissie - I am so sorry!) and a vaginal birth (Ash and Kelli also very sorry). It makes me think twice about having a baby but then I think of my adorable nieces and nephews and think, maybe I can just love them and not go through the whole birthing thing. Kudos to all you moms out there. Friday I spent in the nursery and with the lactation consultant. It was a really good experience for me and I got to hold babies so how could be not be a great day. I gave my first HepB vaccine to a brand new kiddo and learned to take vitals. Vitals are much harder on infants than on grown ups! I'm getting pretty decent at it though.

Saturday I showed my friend around Tucson - mostly taking her to all my favorite restaurants. We went to The Waffle House for breakfast - just because we thought it would be good since it's pretty dive-y looking. It was - once the waitress brought us the correct food. I think she just ordered whatever she wanted for us - of the four people she was serving she didn't get a single order right! My friend later told us that The Waffle House has been described as a gas station bathroom that serves waffles. Not to far off! After waffles we went shopping then saw "Hairspray" and I LOVED IT!!! I was hoping they would just start it over so I could see again. Ash - we might have to go see it when I come home. Fabulous, Fabulous!! Of course we were starving by the time it was over so we went to Beyond Bread - my favorite bakery/sandwich shop for a late lunch. By the time we were done it was almost time to meet up with friends for a birthday dinner at Chili's. We weren't very hungry but the company was awesome. Then we came home for a dance party. We didn't have a lot of people but we managed to get the cops there anyway. Good times. It felt so good to dance!

Some of the boys...

A couple of the girls (some of us were smart enough not to be photographed!)


Us in our stunner shades (my aren't quite big enough but the color makes up for it).

Sunday was church and then we had friends over for games. Today I had to go back to school and my friend went home but before she did we took a drive out past my house and into some beautiful country. It's not Yosemite but it's not bad. So I'm back to studying and longing for home. Only 9 more days!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today was the best 30th birthday ever! It started out a bit wild - I somehow thought that if I needed to leave for work at 6 that I should get up at 6. My schedule is so wild it's amazing I manage to ever get the right location on time. So I got ready in 10 minutes this morning. Probably didn't look my best but that's okay. I got to work in labor & delivery today. Today was the day of pre-term laborers and teenage moms. We weren't optimistic about seeing anything. They tend to want to keep those pre-termers in. Happy surprise, at 7:30 I got to go in to observe a C-section. I'll admit, I almost cried. Later in the day I got to be in a vaginal delivery. I was there for all the pushing and I'm telling ya - this girl was amazing! She didn't have any drugs and hardly made a sound. There's not much I can say but wow! And maybe that I'm a bit scared to have a baby. Throughout the day I got tons of texts and messages! It was great to be so remembered! After work I met up with some friends at Claimjumper and had some amazing desserts. It was a great day and Theresa is planning a party for Saturday night. Should be super!!!

My first day in hospital scrubs - so much more comfortable than uniform scrubs!

Birthday Dessert with (L to R)

Theresa, Adriana, Elizabeth, ME, Kira, Karen, Jamie, Chris

Monsoon

The last couple of days the monsoons have come in. Late in the afternoon the clouds turn black, the thunder rumbles and lightning illuminates the sky and then it rains. I've never seen rain like this before. It literally comes down in sheets. Running from my car to the door - a whole 10 feet - soaked me through. So yesterday, knowing I had all day today to study, I cuddled up on the couch, opened the blinds and read Harry Potter and watched the storm. Absolutely delightful.


The view from my apt. before a storm.

No more LTC!

I officially completed my long-term rotation! YEAH!!!! Next week I start OB. I can't wait!!!

Welcome to my home...

I've had some requests for photos of my home and life here in Tucson. Here is the first instillation.

The front of my condo.

My living room. I do most of my studying on that couch.

My living room from the other direction.

My kitchen.

My room - at the end of my bed is the wind tunnel - a fan, a humidifier and a HEPA filter. Someday I'll be able to breathe!!

What a week...

I started my first clinical rotation in long term care this week. After touring the facility on Tuesday I called home and cried. The place I work probably hasn't bought new furnishings since the early 80's, smelled funny, was hot and humid and had elderly residents sitting in the halls staring at the wall. It scared the bee-gee-bees out of me. I remember when Grandma started telling me not to get old and now I know why. It's scary. Of course Mom gave me a great pep talk so on Wednesday I went in determined to get it my best shot. I got paired with a PCT, and man, they work hard! I didn't get to do any "nursing" things but I got patients up and clean and dressed and comfortable. At the end of the day I helped care for a women who was aspirating. I have to say I've never felt so gross at the end of the day and I don't think I could handle it long term but it was gratifying to take care of people who needed it so desperately.

Thursday turned into a very exciting day for me. I've developed asthma since moving to Tucson, in addition to my horrible allergies, so I've been seeing an immunologist and getting allergy shots. At my first appointment I had to do this lung volume test - 3 little houses show up on a computer screen and I have to blow through a tube and try to "blow them down". The first time I did it I did well - above average lung capacity (still got a diagnosis of asthma :( ). This week I could only blow down 2 and 1/3 houses - not a good thing. I've lost about a soda can worth of lung capacity in the past 2 weeks. I also have a sinus infection. So I started on antibiotics and steroids to bring down the inflammation in my lungs. One of the steroids was an inhaler with a long-acting albuterol, which would have been good for most people but it made my heart rate uncomfortably high. So I went to clinical and couldn't breathe, couldn't walk without getting super winded, light-headed when I bent over, not to mention the pasty skin. Anyway, I got sent home to rest - and to prevent me from passing out. It all worked out okay, I got a new inhaler without albuterol and was back in clinical today. Never a dull moment with me.

Today was a pretty exciting day. Due to HIPPA rules I have no idea what I can say but today I got to complete my first assessment on a real live person and take vitals! Very exciting day for me. However, that wasn't my most important learning experience of the day. Here it is: get you colon cancer screenings. I won't gross you out with details but, please, get your colon screened.

I was right...

They spent a tremendous amount of time today confusing us about clinicals. I think I know where I'm supposed to be tomorrow but I could be wrong. I currently feel like I've been hit by a truck. And Dansko shoes are not comfortable. I promise I will be more cheerful tomorrow. Right now I have to go spend another $50 for pharmacology program and maybe buy another pair of white shoes.

One Term Down

I took my last exam of the term on Thursday morning. I think it was a bit sick and wrong to give us our biggest exam the day after Independence Day but no one consults me on these things. Needless to say, my holiday was a bit lack luster but I did well on my exam. I would have liked to do better but an A is an A. Was that bragging? Maybe just a little. I'm really pleased with how well this first term went and, starting Monday, I will be heading to a long-term care facility to apply my newly developed skills. Half the class will be going to long-term care (LTC) and the other half will be doing an OB rotation (then we'll switch). I think it's laughable that they subject old people and laboring mothers to nursing students with a whopping 5 weeks of school and very little practice. I can see why both student nurses and the patients report being nervous.

Since I arrived I've been hearing about the monsoons that are apparently so spectacular. Well, one has been "coming in" for 2 days now but I've seen little more than a sprinkle. I'm very excited for the electrical storms and the decrease in the temperature. Last night we lost power. Not a good night as it was movie night. The host lost power so the whole group came out to my house (10 min drive) only to find my power out. So we went back to the original host's house who, luckily, had power restored. It was much funnier yesterday.

Tomorrow we're planning on floating down the river. I have no clue which river except that it's in Chandler area and that I get to eat Cafe Rio afterward. I would probably go just for the Cafe Rio.

Some of you have asked what my apartment, school, Sim Man, etc. are. I will work on posting some pictures in the next couple days so check back. I've also had requests to know what my schedule is like. It changes but here's a look at next week.

MONDAY
8-10am Group Discussion - we meet in small groups and discuss readings. I'm probably the only conservative thinker in my group. Anything you deduct from that is probably true. Especially since I've noticed that one member in particular doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom.

10-11am Course Orientation - we're starting a new quarter so I assume they'll be telling us where we need to be and what we need to be doing but not with enough detail that anyone will actually have a clue.

12-2pm Pharmacology

2:30-3:30pm On-site OB clinical tour and Orientation - I'm not sure how that's going to work since it will take far longer than 30 minutes to get to my OB site.


TUESDAY
8-11am LTC Clinical Orientation

12-4pm Pediatric Skills Class - Why are we having a pediatric skills class when we won't actually work with peds until Fall.

WEDNESDAY-FRIDAY
6:45-2:45 Clinical - LTC

This seems, to me, to be a fairly light week. I'm especially excited that we only have reading to do for Monday (mind you, it's 6 chapters of pharmacology and something really boring about being a professional nurse) and an assignment due on Friday. I may actually make it to FHE!

Not so brief up-date

The weather guy just said that Tucson "has one of the best weather climates in the world." He, obviously, has never lived anywhere else. It's hot - still.

Today was the end of a very long 5 days. In the past 5 days I have taken 3 exams and written a paper. No, that wasn't finals. I am very tired but today I treated myself to a massage - which, of course, gave me a headache. Note to self, ahhh, I don't have a note to self. I don't know what caused the headache. So here's the brief rundown of the past week (or so).

Grief.
I hope not to ever work in hospice. Noble profession, not for me. We had the hospice nurses come and do a lecture on grief, dying, blah, blah... It was interesting and helpful, a bit touching at times. Now remember, I average 6-7 hours of sleep these days. After about 2 hours of this lecture one of my classmates raised her hand and asked us to stop as she has a friend dying and this is all very hard for her. Seriously. Seriously!!! Me and my amazing sensitivity thought, "Dude, get a grip or go out but don't stop a lecture". So the touchy, feely nurse had everyone close their eyes and take a deep breath. Bad idea. No deep breaths. My shallow wheezing was keeping me from weeping like a crazed lunatic (don't forget - I'm really tired). So deep breaths. Then she tells us to picture our happy place. ARE YOU INSANE!!!!! I'M PATHETICALLY HOMESICK AND YOU WANT ME TO PICTURE MY HAPPY PLACE??? So I was the lame girl that cried at school. Luckily most people didn't notice. And I now avoid my "happy place" while on campus.

Allergy Testing
I got tested for allergies. I'm allergic to lots of stuff. Hence I can't breathe very well, my lab mates love listening to my wheezy lungs and I take lots of medicine. I'm supposed to use my inhaler when I go outside but I feel like that nerdy kid that no one wanted on their kickball team, so then I don't use it very often. And then I can't breathe. Maybe being the nerdy kid isn't so bad. I start allergy shots in the next week or so. Thank heavens for modern medicine and immunology.

My 1st Cockroach
Until I moved to Tucson I had never seen a cockroach. I saw my first one outside, near bushes and it had to be pointed out to me. The next one I saw, last night, was in my bathroom. I'm not usually fussy about bugs but it was big and crunchy and had wings. Yes, I squealed. Luckily my roommate and her friend were home and they were able to kill it with a flip-flop. I'm incredibly grateful because I would have had to move, leaving all my stuff in the bathroom. I'm still a little nervous in there but it's really hard to hold your feet up while you micturate (that's peeing for lay people).

1 week down!

I have successfully completed my very first week of nursing school! Yea for me! (Imagine me cheering) Now that you're done laughing at your mental picture, here's the low down. It is hot in Tucson. Oh, you want to hear something new? Fine.

I'll just hit you with the highlights so as not to bore you with the boring details.

Tuesday was our first lab. I paired up with a darling girl, Chrissy, whom I met at orientation. Chrissy is 5'1-1/2" (I know because I measured her) and probably 103 lbs (we weighed ourselves), a former cheerleader at her university and a former stunt girl for her local pro basketball team. She really is darling. So, back to the lab. Tuesday we learned how to assess the vital signs, including the apical pulse. The apical pulse is located at the mid-clavicular line between the 4 and 5 ribs, i.e. just below and to the left of your left nipple. Of course we couldn't hear it through our layers of shirts and bras so my instructor had us remove them (gowned and behind a curtain). So here I am, having known my lab partner for all of 2 days and off come our shirts. SOOOOOO BAZAAR!!! I was so grateful I didn't pair up with any of the guys (who I consciously avoid now). It's like that nightmare of going to school naked come true. Actually it wasn't much different than going to the doctor's office except this was a classmate.

Wednesday and Thursday were lecture days. Lectures are 5-6 hours a day with 400-600 assigned pages of preparatory reading. So I scan the info the night before, go to class, come home and review, scan the reading for the next day and go to bed. I'm not sure when I'm supposed to commit this to memory.

Today was my favorite day so far. We did shift assessments. During a shift assessment (which occurs at the beginning of each shift so the new nurse can get a baseline) we review each body system starting at the head and going to the toes. This is why I'm here. We check the vitals, listen to the heart and lungs and GI track, check the eyes... everything (except unmentionables). It makes me giddy just thinking about it. You know how some people listen to the ocean or the wind in the trees to relax - I think I could listen to heart or breath sounds. We have these SIM mannequins that can be programed to who knows what - we practice all our procedures from codes to drugs to IVs, everything on them. Today we listened to their "hearts" and "lungs". The cool part is they can simulate various disease processes so today I heard a murmur, a mitral valve prolapse, pneumonia, crackles (which is generally bronchitis and sounds exactly like rice krispies), and several others. So, so cool. I wish you were all here so I could listen to your hearts and lungs. Anyway, I'm getting long-winded. Tonight some girls from my program and I are getting together for dinner to celebrate surviving the first week. Oh, and to make my brothers proud - I wasn't the first student to cry. I knew it would happen soon, someone would have a breakdown, I'm just glad it wasn't me. I'm loving this... well, except for the reading.

First Day

My first day isn't over yet, I still have hours of reading and reviewing to do but since my first official class day is over - I'll fill you in.

There is no parking near the nursing school so instead of wandering for hours I parked at the church building 4 blocks away. I assume my BYU Alumni license plate is a sufficient parking pass. 4 blocks is really no big deal unless there's a hospital between you and the building you're trying to get to. Thankfully I didn't make the mistake of going inside the hospital but I did take the very long way around. I allowed myself lots of extra time (Dad would be so proud) so I made it to my class 15 minutes early. Walking in the morning was quite pleasant (except the lost part) so I decided not to get a parking pass and just walk each day. I changed my mind when I walked back at 3pm in the 104 degree sun. Shortly thereafter I showed up with backpack shaped sweat marks, dehydrated at the parking office.

Class wasn't too wild today. We covered critical thinking, health and wellness, and assessments. I wasn't particularly excited or impressed until I reviewed my assessment notes (in preparation for lab tomorrow) and now I'm SUPER EXCITED! I bought my stethoscope and sphygmomanometer (that's a BP cuff) today. I tried out the stethoscope on myself - heart rate might be a smidgen fast today. I think I'm going to really like my lab instructor. She makes me "laugh thunderously"! She typo'd some page numbers so as far as we knew our first lab was going to cover male genitalia examinations. And I assumed we'd start with the basics. She also loves "poop". She made lots of poop comments and was very pleased with herself. Kind of like a kid that poops in inappropriate places. All that and she said we can't leave our bags on the floor or in the hallway in case we have a terrorist attack. And she said that with a totally straight face - like it happens in Tucson every day! I suppose it could but the presentation was just so funny.

Sadly the most exciting part of my day, so far, was not school but my water adventure after school. I always have way to much stuff when I get out of the car so today I tried to consolidate. Unfortunately my water bottle leaked all over, which wouldn't have been a big deal except it happened on my bed and my cell phone was in the bag. So, sorry, I will not be accepting calls until it dries or I break down and buy a new one. Not that my life didn't suddenly get extremely expensive. Yes, the AC in my car has been repaired but I definitely miss my right arm. In other good news, I think I broke a filling or have the fastest growing cavity ever. When will my luck end???

So that's the summary. Despite all the challenges, mostly financial, that I have had since moving to Tucson I am enjoying it. I've met really friendly people, I am still excited about my program and I'm starting to build some great friendships. Tomorrow I have lab so I'll be sure to post any humiliating experiences!

Yes, it's very hot here!

I decided it was about time I catch up my blog. Lots has happened since my last entry, most importantly that I finally moved to Tucson, AZ to start nursing school! I drove down last Saturday in my car, with Mom, and Dad driving his Jeep with a trailer full of my stuff. First off I would like to say this move has been the most expensive of my life. That said, the trip was uneventful except for the occasional "breaks" my AC seemed to be taking. The move into my apartment went fine. I'm not used to having a big desk in my bedroom so my beautiful dresser is in the closet. Very strange. Also strange, my AC was taking longer and more frequent "breaks". Mom and Dad set me up quite nicely, for which I am beyond grateful, and then left me on Sunday evening. My roommate has been in and out but mostly out since I've been here so I've spent the vast majority of my time alone. Not that I haven't been productive. I'm all moved in now, have worked out every day, have my textbooks and have done a significant amount of reading. There are only a few events that deserve mentioning further, they will be described below.

Textbooks.
It turns out you have to be accepted to medical school to be smart enough to get out of the medical school building. Getting in is easy, getting out - not so much. Of course the medical bookstore is in some obscure corner which I will never find again. I parked in the nursing school parking lot thinking it couldn't be that far and set off to get my books. There are no signs in the med school building (except for exit signs that don't lead to exits). After wandering for a while some girl took pity on my and walked me to the bookstore. The clerk piled my pre-ordered books on the counter and, with a smile, asked me to fork over more than $1100!!! She mentioned something about someone helping me take my 3 bags and 2 boxes of textbooks to my car if I would like to pull around. Fine, so I took 2 bags (not sure what I was thinking) and headed off to get my car. There was just the small matter of getting out of the building. After 2 flights of stairs, an elevator ride, several deadends (that had exit signs) some kind lady escorted me outside into the 100+ degree heat. Great. 40 pounds worth of textbooks and I'm forever away from my car. AC doesn't work. By the time I pulled around I was dripping with sweat and couldn't feel my fingers. After getting a fruit smoothie and wandering around Target (the only place in town less than 80 degrees) for vowed to get my AC fixed.

My AC
So I went to get my AC fixed and the compressor is dead. The warranty won't cover the compressor unless they replace a bunch of other stuff too. My car uses an old system that no one in town carries anymore. Mitsubishi placed the AC in a difficult location. They ordered the parts on Friday and won't be able to start on my car until Tuesday at the earliest. I have been staying home a lot and will have to sell several body parts.

The Blind Date
So, it sounds like it's been awful since I've been here which isn't true. The people here are super nice and helpful and many people have gone out of their way to help me and befriend me. So here's the up side. On Friday - the day I found out I'd have to sell a kidney to get my AC fixed - my friend Jen called and asked if I'd like to go on a blind date. I agreed - I generally enjoy blind dates and it was certainly better than staying home alone. I had a great time - dinner at Chipotle and frisbee golf - and then after bringing me home he stayed and we chatted for several hours. Nothing extravagant, just really fun.

That catches us up to today. I went grocery shopping and worked out and now I'm procrastinating working on my clinical calculations for administering meds assignment. Yes, they sent us a letter saying we had to pass a dosing exam at 90% in a couple of weeks but we would not be covering the material in class. I'm good except for apothacary units which I've never used before. Fun for me.

Whate Watching!

I fulfilled a childhood dream today - whale watching. We only saw killer whales as all other mammals swim away when killers are on the prowl. They were beautiful, amazing, and swam right under our boat! The best part, now I don't have to become a Sea World trainer. And yes, I did donate my stomach contents to the ocean gods.

Tucson Apartment

I made a run to Tucson to find an apartment. This is the place: 3 bed, 2 bath - big kitchen - huge closets - full-size washer/dryer. Only fault is the distance from school and the hospital but I'll be in a ward where I know a few people. I figure it'll all work out okay, besides I'm used to driving. I move in on the 18th! I can't believe this is actually happening...


Dining Area

Kitchen (obviously)

My room

My closet (notice, only one set of doors is open)

Dirty Dancing 20th Anniversary!

As good now as it was 20 years ago... probably better.

I'm pretty good-looking!

What a great weekend!

This was such a great weekend! I finally visited the Sutro Baths in SF (man-eating misquitos and all). My friends and I went "the long way" and saw more of SF than we intended but, wow, I love that city. Dinner was at Steps of Rome (really the sole purpose of the trip). It's loud, a little rowdy, has an amazing filet mignon, yummy Latin servers, mmmm... it's seriously my favorite spot. Add fabulous friends and it makes for an delightful night!


Dayne was blessed today. I thoroughly enjoyed entertaining Jonny, James and Crewe during sacrament meeting. I would have loved a little AC to off-set the heat generated by my WORK-OUT!!!

Jonny was so excited that Crewe was going in his car!

You can't tell from the photo but Dayne looked beautiful and her dress was adorable!

Ashley throws a mean party! This one wore James clean out!

The best sandwich ever!

My nephew just showed me his super yummy sandwich: cheese, a grape and pizza!

Swan Slab - Yosemite

I watched Kristen, aka Sherpa, climb the 1st pitch and thought, "It doesn't look bad. I can totally do that." My first move went well and then, 7" off the ground I thought "where the heck am I supposed to go now?". I managed the 1st pitch although I don't think I've ever taken so long to catch my breath! The next pitch was the longest, approx. 100 feet, and supposedly was easier. I wouldn't necessarily agree. Sherpa led and disappeared, first behind a tree, then behind a very large rock. I started climbing and came to my first obstacle. I managed. A few feet later I was totally stuck. I was standing on a small ledge, the wind was blowing and all I could see was the great distance and ragged granite between me and the valley floor. I couldn't see the way up but I couldn't go down. I knew Sherpa had me so I did some of the ugliest climbing anyone has ever seen. I wouldn't really call it climbing, more like holding on for dear life and shimmying. Sooner than I anticipated I could hear Sherpa and see the top. The last pitch was the most intimidating, all crack. Turns out, I like crack. My first real climbing of the day. Sherpa coached me through it and I felt like a real climber for the first time. All completed, I climbed just shy of 200'. What did I earn for my pain and fear? An unobstructed view of Half Dome. After lunch at Lower Yosemite Falls we went and practiced some "feet only" climbing. This entailed climbing a smooth, round rock, standing on holds I could barely see. I climbed this rock twice, two different routes. I kind of wish we had done it before the big climb (as Sherpa recommended) as I may have had more confidence in my feet. It was absolutely amazing to jam my toe on something smaller than my baby toe and be able to stand on it. Why no pictures? It wasn't pretty, I imagine I looked like a very large, awkward bug smashed on a very large window, struggling for life. Ugly? Yes. Completed twice? Yes. Once with a recently rolled ankle? Yup, I'm tough.

In summary: One of the greatest days of my life. Sherpa is my hero. She is a graceful climber, encouraging and inspiring coach, and a kick in the pants to spend the day with. Enjoy the pictures.


Pitch 1 - We climbed the big crack, middle left.

Me finishing the 2nd pitch.

This was the easiest part of the 2nd pitch. It was mostly just scrambling at this point.

Mountain Columbine on the 2nd pitch.

To be continued....